


Peace of Mind

by lovewhatyoudo (honestmischief)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Empath tony stark, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Injury, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Magic, Mutant Tony Stark, Panic Attacks, The injury gets healed, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 10:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honestmischief/pseuds/lovewhatyoudo
Summary: As an empath, Tony learned how to maintain control while feeling the emotions of people around him. But nothing prepared him for the amount of feelings that he felt from Loki.





	Peace of Mind

**Author's Note:**

> So I thought this was going to be around 4,000-5,000 words when I started writing this, but then it ended up with 9,000 so here we are.  
> I didn't have a beta so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes!  
> Title is from Peace of Mind by Avicii.

When Tony met Loki for the first time, he felt nothing. He wasn’t accustomed to feeling no emotions from people, so this threw him off a little bit. Tony is a mutant with the ability to recognize and manipulate the emotions of people around him, so he had never felt absolutely nothing from someone until he met Loki in Stuttgart. 

Tony wasn’t completely ashamed of his mutant status, but he often felt like he was invading the privacy of everyone around him when he sensed their emotions. He hated how he was able to easily tell when his friends were feeling emotions that they did not want to share. But he was not able to turn his ability off, so he kept it to himself. He also never manipulated the emotions of others because he felt like it wasn’t fair to change how someone was feeling for his own gain. Tony believed that emotions were private and everyone should have the chance to work out their feelings for themselves. The only times that Tony did manipulate the emotions of others was on accident when he was learning to control his ability, and one time in college when he got into a fight with Rhodey while he was drunk. He told Rhodey about his ability and apologized right away. Rhodey forgave him because he was a wonderful person and Tony was so appreciative that he understood. Rhodey was one of two people that knew about Tony’s mutant status.

But the fact that Loki felt no emotions in Stuttgart, during their conversation in Stark Tower, and throughout the battle of New York confused Tony. It shouldn’t be possible to not feel  _ anything _ . He had never met someone that felt no emotions at all. Tony thought that it was really strange. 

When Tony woke up after hearing the Hulk roar in his face, he was overwhelmed by the feelings of worry radiating from his Avengers teammates. It reminded him of how Rhodey felt when he found him in the desert in Afghanistan. It was difficult for Tony to balance both his and his friends’ feelings of fear and worry from his “trip” to Space, but he had years of practice distinguishing others’ emotions from his own. He suggested going out to eat because humor was a coping mechanism that worked for him during these situations. 

Before going out for some Shawarma, the Avengers had to go back to the tower to find Loki. Tony was told that he was in rough shape after the beating he took from the Hulk, but he was still conscious and alive. It didn’t take too long for them to get to Stark Tower. 

When Tony arrived at his penthouse, he felt a handful of emotions from Loki hit him like a tsunami. He couldn’t stop himself from gasping for air. It felt like all of the air inside of his lungs was knocked out of him. The first emotion that Tony was able to recognize was a strong sense of exhaustion. Tony felt it deep in his bones, as if this feeling had been there for months. The next emotion that he felt from Loki was betrayal. Tony could tell that Loki was betrayed by someone close to him, perhaps a family member or a close friend. It felt similar to what Tony felt when Obie pulled out his arc reactor a few years ago. It felt like someone ripped his heart out. It felt like there was a gaping hole in his chest. The betrayal transformed into a feeling of anger. Anger from being defeated, but also anger towards the ones that betrayed him. Tony could feel himself shaking with anger coursing through his veins. He wanted to punch something to make even the slightest bit of anger disappear. Next, he felt guilt. It felt heavy in his chest, like it was dragging him down to the floor. Tony could feel the tears forming in his eyes and he found himself wishing that he could make it go away. 

The last emotion to hit Tony was the strongest of them all. It was an overwhelming sense of fear. The fear was so heavy that it made Tony bury his face into his hands. Tony suddenly felt paranoid, like there was someone looking for him. That someone was so close to finding him that he was breathing down his neck. Tony felt the need to find somewhere to hide and never return, because whoever was searching for him was almost here and was about to take him away. 

Loki felt all of this, and now Tony did too. 

“Tony!” Steve shouted, and Tony felt himself return to his surroundings. Steve, Natasha, and Clint were kneeling in front of him while the Hulk was standing behind him. Thor was putting handcuffs on Loki at the other side of the room. Tony was sitting on the ground against the wall. He didn’t remember sitting down.

“What’s wrong, Tony? What happened?” Clint questioned. 

Tony’s heart was pounding and he felt like he was hyperventilating. Tony hadn’t zoned out like this since he was a teenager. It was like all of the control he worked so hard to gain since he discovered his mutant ability was thrown out the window. He felt all of Loki’s emotions as if they were his own. 

Loki was standing next to Thor. He didn’t make any eye contact with Tony, which didn’t surprise him because he knew that Loki didn’t understand what just happened. But Tony noticed that Loki looked completely expressionless. It was as if none of those emotions existed in his head. Tony didn’t understand how Loki could live with all of those heavy emotions while looking like he was fine. 

“I’m fine,” Tony was quick to say. He couldn’t let the Avengers know what happened. He didn’t want SHIELD to know that he was a mutant. “I just need some space.”

Tony didn’t wait for any of them to respond before running off to his workshop so he could be alone to process the emotions that were still swimming inside of his head. As soon as he entered, he locked the door and made sure that no one else could come in. 

“JARVIS what’s my heart rate?” Tony asked. He still felt like he was short of breath, but he could tell that his breathing was slowly improving. 

“110 beats per minute, which is an improvement from five minutes ago,” JARVIS responded. 

“What happened?” Tony asked. 

“Sir, you were in a trance-like state for five minutes. Neither I nor the Avengers were able to get a response from you during that time,” JARVIS told him. 

“Shit,” Tony said. 

Tony was reminded of when he was a child, just discovering his mutant ability. He often would zone out when near groups of people because he was overwhelmed with the amount of emotions he was feeling. He had trouble keeping track of which emotions were his and which were not. By the time he was 10 years old, his ability was so strong that he felt like he had to avoid being near anyone else because he feared that he would accidentally manipulate them or zone out. Jarvis helped him find Professor Charles Xavier, who helped him learn how to control his abilities over the course of a few weeks. Charles also ran a school for mutant children, but Tony could not attend because he had to learn how to control his abilities quickly so Howard wouldn’t find out about them. 

Tony didn’t understand how Loki wasn’t completely overwhelmed by the emotions that he was feeling. Tony couldn’t handle them for more than five minutes. He knew that Loki must have been feeling this way for a long time for the emotions to be as strong as they were. Tony knew that he had to do something to help Loki. If Tony was overwhelmed enough to zone out, he couldn’t imagine how Loki was handling the emotions. Tony suspected that Loki was coping by ignoring his emotions to the point that he wasn’t feeling anything at all, which was why Tony didn’t sense any emotions from him earlier on. Tony knew that wasn’t a healthy way to deal with feelings. 

Even if it couldn’t resolve Loki’s issues and make the emotions go away, Tony could temporarily suppress the intensity of the emotions. If he used his ability, he could give Loki a short amount of relief. Tony hasn’t used his ability to manipulate emotions on anyone in years, but he knew that he could use it to help Loki. Logically, Tony knew that helping the alien that just tried to take over the world might not be the best idea, but he also didn’t believe that anyone deserved feel emotions of that intensity. If Steve didn’t break Tony out of that trance, Tony may not have been able to recover from it. It took a lot to make him lose control like that. 

“Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting entry to your workshop,” JARVIS informed Tony. 

Tony didn’t want to let Steve in. He knew that if Steve or any of the other Avengers entered, they would suspect something is wrong with him. Tony felt like his breathing and heart rate were back to normal, so he could probably leave his workshop now. He decided that he had to leave to make everyone believe that everything was okay. He couldn’t let the Avengers or SHIELD know that he is a mutant. 

“Let him know that I will be out in a minute,” Tony told JARVIS. 

Tony followed through with his promise and met up with the rest of the Avengers. They ended up going out for Shawarma. It didn’t taste as good as Tony had hoped, but it was good enough. He was happy to sit down and relax for a little while. 

When Tony returned to his tower in the evening, he automatically sensed that Loki was still there. He wasn’t in the same room as Tony, but his emotions were so strong that Tony could feel them from another floor. Tony knew that he had to help him. He didn’t want to do it without Loki’s consent, but he was hesitant to tell Loki that he was a mutant. Loki was technically an enemy and Tony didn’t love the idea of an enemy knowing something about him that he kept secret for most of his life. Tony also realized that Loki didn’t really have anyone to tell. If Loki told SHIELD or anyone else, they may not even believe him. SHIELD didn’t have any reason to believe Loki.

Before going to find Loki, Tony decided to meditate. It helped him center himself and become familiar with his mindstate. It will help him differentiate between Loki’s emotions and his own. Tony knew that he would be able to control himself around Loki after some preparation.

After meditating, Tony took the elevator to the floor that Loki was on. He was staying on the same floor as Thor. They were staying in Stark Tower for a few days until they go back to Asgard. Thor didn’t want Loki under SHIELD custody. He wanted to be able to watch Loki himself and didn’t trust the organization to find Loki if he found a way to escape. Tony was glad that Loki wasn’t being held by SHIELD. If he was, it would have been harder for Tony to get a chance to talk to him alone. Thor was awake, but Tony was able to talk his way past him to get the chance to talk to Loki by himself. 

When Tony entered the room, he saw Loki sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. His back was against the wall and his hands were still in handcuffs. Thor told him the handcuffs suppress his magic. Tony felt the same overwhelming rush of emotions that he felt earlier in the day, but he was able to center himself. The emotions were still the strongest that Tony had ever felt from anyone, but he managed not to zone out. 

“Hey Reindeer Games,” Tony greeted him as he took a seat in a chair next to the bed so he could face Loki. 

“What brings you here, Stark?” Loki questioned. 

“Just wanted to talk,” Tony answered simply. 

“What do you wish to speak with me about? Many of your agents have interrogated me today,” Loki said. Tony could feel that he was surprised to see him here.

“I can help make your pain go away,” Tony told him. He decided to cut to the chase. 

“I will heal soon. My injuries from the Hulk were extensive but they have already begun to heal,” Loki responded.

“Not that kind of pain.”

Loki gave him a look of confusion that lasted for a few seconds until it transformed into a kind of vulnerability that Tony never expected to see from the god. Loki had put up a mask that hid his emotions from everyone around him, and even himself for a short time. He must have been surprised that someone could see through it. Tony knew that these emotions wouldn’t completely disappear, but Tony couldn’t stand there and do nothing when he knew that he could help Loki experience some relief, even if it was only for a little while. 

“What do you mean?” Loki asked with a quiet tone. 

“I have the ability to sense and manipulate the emotions of others. I won’t change your emotions, I will just suppress them so they aren’t as overwhelming for you,” Tony explained. 

Loki raised an eyebrow. “I don’t sense that you possess any magic.” 

“It’s not magic. It’s a genetic mutation,” Tony told him. 

Tony felt weird talking about his mutation with anyone, especially to a god who threw him out of a window only a few hours ago. He usually only felt comfortable talking about his ability with Rhodey. Tony took a deep breath to try to calm himself down. 

“Fascinating. I have not heard of such a thing,” Loki said. 

“It would only be temporary, but I can help you,” Tony said. 

“Why would you want to help me?” Loki asked curiously. Tony could feel apprehension coming from Loki, which didn’t surprise Tony. He understood why Loki didn’t want to trust him right away. 

“I’m sure you have noticed, but you’re feeling  _ a lot  _ of negative emotions right now,” Tony responded to him. 

“I suppose,” Loki muttered. Tony could tell that he didn’t like the fact that someone knew what feelings he was hiding. 

Tony watched Loki as he thought about it. If Loki said no, Tony wouldn’t take it personally. He didn’t know much about the god, except for the fact that he tried to take over the planet and rule humanity as a tyrant, but Tony tried not to think about that.

“Alright, I will allow you to do it,” Loki told him. Tony couldn’t hold back the slight grin that formed on his face. He was happy to be able to help him. 

“Great!” Tony exclaimed. He then climbed on the bed to sit against the wall next to Loki. Tony could feel confusion coming from Loki. He must not have understood why Tony sat next to him. 

“It works better through touch,” Tony explained. He knew how to manipulate emotions without needing to touch the person, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to suppress emotions as strong as Loki’s without skin to skin contact. 

“Go ahead,” Loki nodded. 

Tony reached beside him and grabbed Loki’s right hand. He was still wearing handcuffs, but his hand was free to hold Tony’s. Tony concentrated on suppressing Loki’s emotions of betrayal, anger, guilt, and fear. He could feel the emotions weaken. He made sure to not make them disappear completely because that would create a false sense of hope that the emotions wouldn’t come back. He had to keep a small amount there so Loki was not overwhelmed when Tony left. 

Tony didn’t miss the sigh of relief that escaped from Loki’s lips. 

“Thank you,” Loki said softly. Tony nodded in response. He didn’t want to interrupt Loki’s thoughts. 

Tony sat in Loki’s guest room for around an hour. He held Loki’s hand the entire time. He expected the god to try to let go at some point, but he never did. It felt strangely intimate to Tony. He didn’t expect to feel so comfortable sitting beside the god of mischief, but he couldn’t help but feel relieved that Loki wasn’t in so much pain. He didn’t forgive Loki, but he felt the amount of guilt that Loki felt once the battle was over. Tony knew that he wasn’t a monster. 

“I should probably go soon,” Tony said to Loki. His tone was barely above a whisper. He didn’t want to startle Loki. 

“If you must,” Loki replied. 

“It will stop once I’m too far away, but I hope it helped.” 

“It was appreciated,” Loki said.

“It would help to talk to someone about it. Sorting them out will make them go away for good,” Tony said. He didn’t exactly feel qualified to give that advice considering he is the worst at talking to others about his feelings, but he knew that was the right advice to give. 

“I don’t see many people willing to listen to me vent my feelings to them,” Loki scoffed. 

Obviously Tony didn’t know what Loki’s life was like on Asgard. He didn’t know what kind of people he was friends with. Tony also realized that Loki was most likely going to prison once he returned to his home realm, so there wouldn’t be an abundance of people ready to hear Loki talk about his feelings. 

“It was worth a shot,” Tony replied as he stood up from the bed and made his way to the door. “Well, it was nice knowing you, I guess. Try not to invade our planet again.”

“I cannot make any promises, but as of now I do not feel the need to return to Midgard,” Loki responded. Tony figured that was the best answer he was going to get. 

  
  


The year after the battle of New York was a rough year for Tony. He had nightmares almost every night. He had to deal with Aldrich Killian and Extremis. He got his arc reactor removed. Tony had a busy year and was hoping to find some time to relax and invent some things in his workshop in New York. 

Tony turned on the news one day and saw what was happening in London. There were more aliens, and Thor was trying to put a stop to them in the middle of the city. Tony was almost offended that he wasn’t invited. He watched the live feed for a few more minutes and it looked like Thor had it under control. Tony must have just caught the end of the fight on TV. He switched the TV off and headed towards his kitchen to make a cup of coffee. 

He didn’t expect to find Loki sitting on his couch. 

Loki looked visibly upset. He wasn’t crying, but Tony could see tears in his eyes threatening to fall. He was breathing heavily and looked really pale. Loki’s emotions almost caught Tony off guard again. They were so strong that Tony had to sit down in order to center himself. The first emotion that Tony felt from Loki was grief. It felt heavy in Tony’s stomach, like a pile of rocks weighing him down. Loki must have lost someone really close to him. The next emotion that Tony felt was an overwhelming sense of guilt that was almost intertwined with the grief. Tony was barely able to distinguish the two from each other. 

“What’s going on, Loki Doki?” Tony asked. 

“Stark,  _ please _ ,” Loki asked desperately. Tony could feel the desperation coming off of him in waves. 

“Okay, okay,” Tony replied. He didn’t want to make the god angry. 

Tony stood up from his bar stool in the kitchen and made his way over to the couch to sit next to Loki. He sat on Loki’s right and grabbed his hand. Loki’s emotions were still too strong for Tony to effectively help him without touching him. 

Loki let out a deep breath. “Much better.” 

Tony could see the tension in Loki’s muscles disappear. He also sent Loki a steady flow of calmness because he could tell that Loki needed it. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tony asked once he was sure Loki was in a better state. 

“No,” Loki was quick to respond. Tony wasn’t surprised. 

“I’m not one to talk about anything, but you were feeling some pretty strong stuff,” Tony said. 

Loki winced. “I am aware.” 

“Does it have anything to do with the evil space fairies your brother was dealing with in London?” Tony questioned. 

“He’s not my brother,” Loki said sharply. Right, Tony almost forgot that Loki was adopted and had some issues. Tony honestly hadn’t given much thought about Thor and Loki because he hadn’t seen them in a year. He had a lot of other things going on. 

“Alright, whatever. The point is, you need to talk to someone eventually because me suppressing your emotions isn’t a cure,” Tony explained. 

Tony was surprised at how forward he was being. He didn’t enjoy talking about feelings, and he wasn’t usually the type of person people went to for advice or anything like that. But he knew that these emotions would eat Loki alive if he continued to let them build up. Tony couldn’t use his mutation to help him forever. 

“My mother died,” Loki told him. He made sure not to look Tony in the eye when he said it out loud. 

“I’m sorry, Loki,” Tony responded. Tony still didn’t particularly like Loki, but he wasn’t heartless. Losing a loved one is hard and Tony hated to see anyone go through it. 

“It was my fault,” Loki sighed. “I told her murderer how to make their way out of the prison.” 

“Did you know that they were going to kill your mother?” Tony questioned. 

“No, however-” Loki began. 

“Then it wasn’t technically your fault,” Tony told him. 

Tony knew firsthand what it felt like to find ways to blame himself for things that weren’t 100% in his control. Things could have happened differently if Loki didn’t help the prisoner escape, but the prisoner also could have found his way out without Loki. It wasn’t Loki’s fault that the prisoner wanted to kill her. 

“I told him how to get to her!” Loki exclaimed. 

“You didn’t know that’s where he was going. I know your thoughts about it aren’t going to change over night but when it isn’t so recent, you’ll understand,” Tony said. 

“You are infuriating,” Loki stated. 

Tony chuckled, “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that.” 

The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for 30 minutes or so. Once again, Loki made no effort to let go of Tony’s hand. Tony realized that if Loki was in a prison cell this whole time, he may not have had skin to skin contact with anyone for a whole year. Tony frequently sought out touch from friends around him, so he couldn’t imagine being that alone for so long. He spent much of his time alone in his workshop, but he also did have friends that he saw from time to time. Rhodey checked up on him frequently to make sure he didn’t spend too much of his time away from others.

“You must not tell Thor that I came here,” Loki said. 

“Why not?” Tony asked. Tony didn’t know of any way to contact Thor and hadn’t talked to him in a year, but he wanted to see what Loki would say. 

“He thinks that I am dead,” Loki answered. 

Tony wasn’t thrilled with that answer. During Thor’s time in New York, Tony was able to sense how much he missed and loved his brother. It pained Tony to feel how much Thor wanted to find his brother and make sure that he was okay. 

“So you’re telling me that Thor lost both his mother  _ and  _ his brother back to back?” Tony asked. 

“I’m not his brother,” Loki reminded him. 

“Oh shut up, yes you are,” Tony said. 

“You know nothing about me,” Loki stated. He was right, Tony didn’t really know anything about the god of mischief. But Tony knew how much Thor loved him. He knew better than to tell Loki right now. He didn’t want to overwhelm him. 

“Whatever you say,” Tony replied. 

Loki disappeared before responding. Tony had no idea that he could teleport. Tony also couldn’t help but feel disturbed by the emptiness in his hand where Loki’s hand used to be. 

  
  


Tony didn’t hear any news about Loki for a month. He had no idea where Loki disappeared to and he didn’t try to find out. But he was surprised to get a call from Nick Fury saying that Loki was spotted in Central Park unleashing a bunch of large snakes. It had been a year since the Avengers teamed up together, but they reunited to help stop Loki. 

When Tony arrived at Central Park, he saw chaos. Citizens were being chased by snakes of various colors. There were tourists screaming on top of benches hoping that the snakes wouldn’t reach them up there. Loki was laughing to himself while sitting under a tree. Tony could feel how amused he was. 

“I thought he was dead. I  _ saw  _ him die!” Tony heard Thor shout in his ear piece. Tony felt terrible that Thor was grieving for his brother that wasn’t actually dead. 

It took a while, but the snakes eventually were detained and Loki gave up. Tony could tell that Loki didn’t have any evil intentions. He believed that Loki just felt like being annoying. It was probably why he was known as the god of mischief. 

Tony wasn’t completely surprised to find Loki in his penthouse that night. Tony didn’t feel any emotions that were as overwhelming as the past few times they were alone together, but he could feel a familiar sense of anger, guilt, and fear that he felt in 2012. They weren’t large enough to make him zone out like the first time, but they were there enough that Loki probably felt very uncomfortable. 

“I would like for you to suppress my feelings one more time,” Loki stated. 

“Why should I do that after that stunt you just pulled?” Tony asked. He would admit that it was kind of funny, but he didn’t approve of it. Too many citizens were scared and people could have gotten hurt. 

“It was just a bit of fun,” Loki smirked. 

“The Avengers don’t know about my mutation. I’d like to keep it that way,” Tony told him 

“They don’t? I thought they were your friends,” Loki responded. 

“They are. I’ve just made a habit of not telling others about it,” Tony said.

“So you tell me, your enemy?” Loki asked with a tone of surprise in his voice. 

“You feel much more than anyone else,” Tony pointed out. 

“Perhaps. Let’s make a deal, shall we? I will not tell your Avengers about your mutation if you continue to use your abilities to help me feel well,” Loki suggested. Tony didn’t think it was a bad deal. He already helped Loki twice, he didn’t see any harm in continuing. 

“Alright. But don’t teleport into my tower. Knock like a normal person.” 

Loki chuckled softly. “Where’s the fun in that, Stark?” 

  
The Avengers stayed in Tony’s tower since Loki’s return. Tony was happy to have them there. He designed a floor for each of them after the formation of the team last year and was glad that they finally decided to stay. Tony was excited to work in the lab with Bruce more often. He was also excited to invent and upgrade equipment for all of the Avengers to use. He knew that he was going to have a lot of fun with it. 

Since the Avengers moved in, they have been very busy. Loki thought it would be fun to cause some sort of commotion at least once a week. There were other people that tried to bring destruction to the city as well. Tony didn’t know why New York City was so unlucky. 

Loki usually visited Tony one night per week. He came late at night when the other Avengers were asleep. They both didn’t want anyone to find out that they were spending any time together. Loki didn’t want Thor or SHIELD to find him. Tony didn’t want anyone else to know that he is a mutant. It worked out for both of them to keep it a secret. 

One night about a month after they made their deal, they were sitting on Tony’s couch in his penthouse. Loki arrived feeling a large amount of fear. It was a fear similar to the first time Tony felt Loki’s emotions. It still felt like he was scared that someone was looking for him. He felt desperate to stay out of this person’s reach. Tony understood why Loki wanted help weakening this fear. Tony knew that the fear would eventually consume him if Loki continued to feel it. 

“You know you can talk to me about it, right?” Tony asked. Over time, he began to dislike Loki less. Loki was a funny guy that Tony didn’t mind spending time with. He wished that they met under better circumstances and that Loki didn’t try to take over the planet. 

“Why would I talk to you? I hate you.”

“You know I would be able to tell if you hated me. You don’t,” Tony pointed out. He never felt any hatred towards him from Loki. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “You’re an Avenger.” 

“Do you really think we’re still enemies? We have spent multiple nights holding hands and watching movies on my couch,” Tony said. 

“We spend time together for a purpose. There would be no reason for me to be here if you did not have your ability,” Loki explained. 

Tony didn’t exactly disagree. But he could feel that Loki didn’t dislike him, so he had to at least enjoy a little bit of the time that they have spent together or else he wouldn’t keep coming over. 

“I know I’ve told you this but it’s not a cure. You’re still going to have to find a way to work out your feelings if you want them to go away,” Tony told him. 

Loki took a deep breath. “This fear is something that I will live with for the rest of my life.”

Tony didn’t know what Loki was scared of. He didn’t know who was looking for him. But if it was something that couldn’t be fixed, Tony was glad to help Loki feel more at ease once in a while. 

  
Two weeks later, the Avengers were informed that Loki was covering the ground and buildings in Times Square with a layer of ice. Tony had no idea why Loki would possibly want to do that, but it seemed like Loki did a lot of pointless pranks just for the hell of it. Sometimes they were funny, but sometimes they put citizens in danger. Tony and the rest of the Avengers always put a stop to him, but Loki never put up much of a fight. The god of mischief was more of an annoyance than a threat lately. 

“He’s up to his bullshit  _ again _ ?” Clint groaned when they arrived at Times Square. 

“At least he doesn’t have another alien army helping him try to rule Earth,” Natasha said. Tony agreed that she had a point. 

“Loki always enjoyed his mischief. He was never evil,” Thor said. 

Loki was standing in front of the M&M store watching all of the citizens and New York tourists slip on the ice as they tried to escape. Tony could see the grin on his face and felt his relief that people were leaving the area. 

Tony and Thor were helping people leave Times Square by flying since it wasn’t safe for so many people to walk on the ice. Steve, Natasha, and Clint were helping people evacuate the buildings in the area. Hulk was smashing big ice chunks that were getting in people’s way. When there were only a few people left trying to evacuate the streets, Thor picked them up while Tony went to try to find Loki. 

Tony found Loki walking out the main entrance of the M&M store with a large bag of only green M&Ms. 

“Okay Loki, what’s your problem this time?” Tony asked. 

“I have no problem anymore,” Loki responded before putting a few pieces of green candy in his mouth. 

After a few seconds, Tony finally realized the reason why Loki wanted everyone to leave Times Square. 

“You really covered Times Square in ice so you could get into the M&M store without a line?” Tony asked. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing after he said it. It was crazy, but hilarious. 

“The store is too crowded with mortals. Once inside, you can hardly move!” Loki exclaimed. 

“They sell the candy in most stores,” Tony pointed out. 

“They don’t sell bags that consist of only the green ones. Green is my favorite color,” Loki replied. 

“I’ve noticed.”

Tony knew that Loki never had evil motives when he pulled his pranks. This particular one was so typically Loki that Tony couldn’t even be mad at him. 

“Get rid of the ice,” Tony told him. 

“Fine,” Loki huffed. The ice disappeared within seconds. 

Tony hovered off the ground to begin to fly home, but he stopped himself when he felt a sense of loneliness coming from Loki. He didn’t expect Loki to feel lonely. Tony came to the realization that one of the reasons why Loki kept causing havoc over the city was because he wanted the attention. He wanted people to recognize him. 

“Come over tonight?” Tony asked. Loki nodded in response before Tony flew off. 

  
  


Loki continued to visit Tony. Tony helped Loki relax. They have watched movies, ate food that Loki had never tried, and played some card games. Tony didn’t understand why Loki kept showing up for months, but he didn’t tell him to stop. Tony started to like hanging out with him and would have been upset if Loki didn’t come over anymore. 

Tony continued to have nightmares. He had them since Afghanistan and they got worse in 2012 when he went inside of the wormhole. One night, he had a particularly bad nightmare about being stuck in the wormhole and went into his workshop to try to get his mind off of it. He had difficulty bringing his heart and respiration rates down, but he didn’t sit down to try to calm himself. Tony frantically walked around his workshop trying to find something to build. He couldn’t think about it. 

“Tony?” He heard someone ask. Tony gasped and dropped the wrench he was holding. It fell to the ground with a loud bang. 

He looked up to find Loki. He must have teleported into the workshop while Tony was too distracted to notice. 

“What happened? Are you alright?” Loki questioned. 

Tony wanted to say that he was alright, but he couldn’t. All he could do was listen to his heart pounding in his ears and focus on taking deep breaths. The nightmare occurred 15 minutes ago but Tony hadn’t managed to calm himself down yet. 

“Tony, breathe with me. In and out,” Loki instructed. Loki counted for Tony to inhale and exhale for three seconds each. 

After a few minutes, Tony felt himself catch his breath. It felt good to have air to flow in and out of his lungs properly. He didn’t realize how bad it was until he was able to breathe normally again. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony said. He could feel how worried Loki was about him, which kind of surprised Tony. It has been a while since someone was that worried about him. 

“It’s alright,” Loki said softly. 

Tony hadn’t had a nightmare around anyone in a long time. He was surprised Loki was being so kind to him. He didn’t know why Loki was still here, but he appreciated it. It helped to not be alone. 

“What happened?” Loki asked. 

“Just a nightmare. I’m fine,” Tony responded. He really was feeling much better. 

“Nightmares are a terrifying thing sometimes,” Loki said. Tony half expected Loki to think it was childish, so he was a little surprised that Loki understood.

“Yeah, it is much easier to be awake,” Tony told him. He had a bad habit of staying awake for long periods of time to avoid going to sleep. 

“I can help you sleep,” Loki offered. “It is a simple spell. It would allow you to sleep uninterrupted until you feel rested.” 

Logically, Tony knew that he shouldn’t let someone on SHIELD’s most wanted list perform a sleeping spell on him. Being asleep in Loki’s presence would leave him to be completely vulnerable. But Tony knew that Loki was being genuine. He could feel that Loki was still worried about him. He believed that Loki genuinely wanted to help him. 

“As long as you don’t attack me in my sleep,” Tony chuckled. 

“Of course I wouldn’t. You have helped me with my feelings, it is time that I help you with yours.” 

Tony could feel how appreciative Loki was, and it was almost a foreign feeling. Tony had never felt anyone have this emotion towards him. It was almost like people thought everything he did for others was expected of him, except for Loki. 

Tony was overwhelmed by the kindness that Loki was demonstrating. Loki was empathetic, which was something that Tony was so used to being towards other people that he almost didn’t recognize it when someone else was being empathetic towards him. Tony fell asleep peacefully, and was a little disappointed when Loki wasn’t there when he woke up the next morning. 

Loki waited only two days before returning to the tower. Sitting on the couch with Loki while using his ability to help him was a familiar feeling for Tony. It was when he felt most comfortable, and he could sense that Loki felt comfortable as well. Tony put a random movie on the TV but they weren’t paying much attention to it. They were mostly just talking. Loki was telling him about one of his trips to Alfheim. Tony told him a story from MIT. 

Their conversation was interrupted when they heard a long bang from someone forcing the elevator doors open. Tony felt Loki stiffen beside him. It was Thor. Tony had protocols set up to not let any of the Avengers on his floor when Loki was here. Thor had to force his way out of the elevator, but he shouldn’t have even known that Loki was here. Tony could feel that Loki was uneasy in Thor’s presence. He could also feel Thor’s surprise to find Loki here, and love towards him as well. Tony knew how much Thor missed his brother, Thor spoke of him frequently and Tony almost constantly felt him longing for Loki. 

“Brother?” Thor asked. He felt betrayed and Tony could understand why. 

“I’m not your brother,” Loki said. 

“What are you doing here?” Thor questioned. 

“Watching a movie. Can you leave us alone now?” Loki responded. 

“With Tony Stark?” 

Tony didn’t want to get in the middle of their brotherly feud, even though Loki would never admit that Thor was his brother. They had a long history together, over 1,000 years as brothers. Tony wished that they would just talk it out and make up, but he knew that Loki was too stubborn. 

“It may surprise you but I enjoy spending time with others once in a while,” Loki answered. 

“Tony, why would you spend your time with Loki? He is one of your enemies,” Thor said. Tony could sense the amount of confusion Thor was feeling about the situation. 

“The worst thing he has done in the past year was cover Times Square with a sheet of ice, to me that hardly makes me consider him an enemy,” Tony replied. He knew that there were worse people out there. He had a theory that Loki wasn’t the mastermind behind the battle of New York, but he knew better than to bring that up yet. Tony still frequently felt Loki’s fear about the situation. It was too fresh in his mind. 

“I suppose,” Thor agreed. “Loki, if you would just speak to me I’m sure that we could sort out whatever is going on with you,” he pleaded. 

“Sort it out?” Loki asked angrily. “I have spent centuries living in your shadow! That will not disappear with a short conversation.” 

“I know you don’t think so, but we are  _ brothers _ , Loki. I miss you,” Thor told him. 

Tony felt a hint of longing coming from Loki as well. Loki missed his brother. 

Loki sighed quietly. “Please leave.”

“Fine, I won’t force you. But please at least think about it,” Thor said. Loki didn’t give him a response before he left. Tony thought Loki was going to teleport away, but he stayed on the couch. 

“Please calm me down,” Loki turned to Tony and said. 

Tony could feel anger coming from Loki, but he continued to also feel the same sense of longing that hadn’t gone away. 

“It’s okay if you miss him,” Tony told him. 

“Just do it!” Loki shouted. 

Usually, Tony used his ability to help Loki without much of a problem. But this time, Tony was hesitant. He knew that it wouldn’t do anything to change how Loki felt. It would only briefly push the emotions aside. He wanted Loki to know that it was okay to feel strong emotions and to try to work through them. Tony didn’t mind helping him with that without using his mutation. 

“I don’t think it would be healthy right now,” Tony said. 

“Who are you to say what is healthy for me?” Loki asked. 

“I know a lot about emotions. I probably know about them more than anyone. I can’t make them go away. You should try to talk about how you’re feeling. It will help you feel better,” Tony said. 

“It will not change anything. It won’t change the fact that Thor is not my brother. It won’t change that my family was never my family at all,” Loki explained. 

“I don’t know what happened, so I can’t say if it will or not. But I do know that letting your feelings bottle up inside of you isn’t good for you.”

Tony hated to see Loki so distraught. It hurt him to see Loki like this knowing that he could make him feel better. Tony was confident that he was doing the right thing, but that didn’t mean that it felt good. 

“I thought better of you, Stark,” Loki said before disappearing. 

Tony was left with an empty couch cushion beside him and Toy Story playing softly on the TV. 

  
  


Tony missed Loki. He hated spending every night alone. He enjoyed Loki’s sense of humor and the conversations that they had together. It wasn’t often that Tony had conversations with someone that could keep up with him. Loki was smart and witty and Tony hated that he didn’t come over anymore. Tony  _ liked  _ Loki. He liked Loki’s smile and the feeling of Loki’s joy when he was happy. Tony missed feeling the presence of Loki near him and disliked the feeling of being alone. As an empath, Tony constantly felt the feelings of others and being alone made him feel empty. 

He sometimes wondered if he overstepped. Loki didn’t have to talk about anything if he didn’t want to. Tony only suggested it because he knew it would help. But if Loki wasn’t ready, there was nothing that he could do. He didn’t want to force him to do anything. Tony wished he dropped the subject sooner so Loki didn’t get so mad. He should have respected that Loki wasn’t ready to talk about it. 

Tony spent most of his time in his workshop trying not to think about Loki, but he wasn’t very successful. He did work on some equipment upgrades for the Avengers. He created a new version of explosive arrows for Clint and wardrobe upgrades for Natasha. Tony noticed that when he presented the equipment to them, they didn’t feel the same gratitude and appreciation as Loki did when Tony had helped him. He realized he never felt it from any of the Avengers. Tony wondered if Loki was special or if there was something missing from his friends. Tony never expected anything in return, but he missed the feeling of warmth he felt after sensing Loki’s gratitude. 

Loki didn’t visit the tower for the next two weeks. The Avengers still worked together to fight off threats to the city, including two more pranks from Loki. Things were a little tense between Tony and Thor, but no one mentioned it. Thor was understandably upset that Tony didn’t tell him that he was seeing Loki regularly. The latest threat that the Avengers had to fight off was Doctor Doom. The Avengers had fought him once before, but this time he had five times the amount of Doombots with him and they were having some difficulty keeping them away from the citizens of New York. 

Ten Doombots surrounded Tony as he was trying to shoot them down with his repulsors. He was able to take down three of them until one of them crashed into Tony causing him to crash down to the ground. Luckily, he wasn’t too high up but it still didn’t feel great when he hit the ground. He tried to fly off of the ground to escape from the Doombots that were approaching him, but he couldn’t lift off. 

“JARVIS?” Tony questioned. 

“Flight systems are damaged,” JARVIS responded. 

“Damn,” Tony muttered to himself.

In the end, Tony was able to take down all of the Doombots, but it took a lot of effort. He was very outnumbered and the rest of the Avengers were in other parts of the city trying to fight off more Doombots and Doctor Doom himself. Once Tony was finished, he sat on the ground against a building to take a few minutes to catch his breath. His suit was showing a lot of damage, and he could feel that he had a lot of bruising near his ribs. Some may even have been broken. He tried to stand back up but winced in pain instead. 

“Are you alright?” Tony heard a familiar voice ask. He looked up to see Loki staring down at him. He wasn’t dressed in his familiar battle outfit and was instead wearing a green shirt with black pants. 

“I’m fine,” Tony gritted through his teeth. It hurt around his ribs to speak but he will get over it. 

“Where are the rest of your team?” Loki asked him with a curious expression on his face. 

“Busy,” Tony replied. He had told the team that he was down, but they all said that they were unable to help him right away. 

“If a member of their team is injured it isn’t right to leave them alone,” Loki said, and Tony could feel that Loki was angry. Tony knew that he would have helped a fallen teammate as soon as possible, but he also knew that he cared about people much more than most others do. 

“I’m sure they are trying their best,” Tony told him, not wanting to talk about it anymore. 

Loki knelt down in front of Tony and inspected his injuries that were showing through broken parts of his suit. Then, Tony saw a green mist that was the familiar color of Loki’s magic surround him. He tried not to panic, he knew that even though Loki was mad at him that he wouldn’t hurt him. Especially when he was already injured. Maybe it was foolish for Tony to trust him so much, but he had a strong feeling that whatever the magic’s purpose was, it wasn’t harmful. 

“You have two broken ribs and a lot of bruising,” Loki said to him. 

“Did you just scan me with your magic?” Tony asked. 

Loki nodded. “I should get you out of here,” he said. There were some Doombots that were still around the city. 

Loki grabbed his hand and Tony’s surroundings began to fade. Less than a minute later, Tony noticed that he was in his workshop. Loki teleported them there. Tony was left with a vague feeling of nauseousness from the teleportation, but he was thankful to be back home. 

“I can heal you,” Loki said softly. Tony could feel apprehension from Loki. It was as if he wasn’t sure if Tony would want his help. 

“Thank you, Loki,” Tony replied. 

With help from Loki, Tony was able to get out of his suit and sit up on one of the tables. His shirt was ripped due to damage from the suit and he looked down at his chest area to see red and purple bruising that formed. Without thinking, Tony took off the shirt that was ripped in multiple places and winced when he elevated his arms. 

“I will have to touch the area of the injury to heal it with my magic,” Loki told him. 

“Go ahead,” Tony said. 

Loki gently touched the area of Tony’s ribs that were injured and emitted healing magic from his hands. The coloring of the bruising was fading slowly. They both remained silent as Loki continued to heal him. The situation felt oddly familiar to Tony, except with their roles reversed. It reminded him of the first time Tony used his empathic ability to help Loki after the battle of New York. How Tony was silent while using his power to decrease the intensity of Loki’s emotions, and Loki’s feeling of relief from the pain. It wasn’t the same type of pain, but Tony couldn’t help but notice the similarities. 

“I fear that I have taken advantage of your ability,” Loki said once the pain from Tony’s ribs was just about gone. Tony never thought of it that way. He was glad to help. 

“We had a deal,” Tony reminded him. The bruising was gone and Loki lifted his hands off of him. 

“We did. But what about you, Tony? Who is helping you? I see that you are hurting, that the void haunts you as well,” Loki said. It took a lot of effort for Tony to hold back the shiver that threatened to escape from his body. 

Tony almost choked on his breath. “I’m the empath. I know when people need my help.” 

“You see everyone’s emotions but your own,” Loki said softly. He grabbed Tony’s hand and slowly rubbed his thumb over it. It felt intimate, but Tony thought it felt nice. 

“I pushed you too far,” Tony told him. He still felt guilty for trying to make Loki talk about his feelings when he wasn’t ready to. 

“Your intentions were genuine,” Loki replied. 

“I just want to be here for you,” Tony expressed. Loki still held Tony’s hand in his own. 

“And I for you.”

Suddenly, Tony felt another batch of emotions from Loki that he had never noticed before. The first one was fear, but it wasn’t the same kind of fear that Tony frequently felt from him. This fear felt more like nervousness, but Tony couldn’t quite tell why Loki was nervous. The next emotion that Tony felt was really warm, and it felt unfamiliar to him. Was it affection? Tony was almost sure that no one had ever felt affection towards him before, so it couldn’t be that.

“What are you feeling right now?” Tony asked. He wasn’t sure what it was. He never had to ask someone what they were feeling before. 

“You’re the empath,” Loki reminded him. 

“Is that affection?” Tony asked, feeling nervous that he read it wrong. 

Loki responded by pulling Tony in for a kiss. Tony couldn’t help but feel in awe of the affection that intensified from Loki and Tony’s own similar feelings towards Loki. Tony had never felt this much before. It was almost overwhelming, but it felt too good. Tony was still sitting up on one of the tables in his workshop, so his face was almost at the same level as Loki’s even though the god was much taller than him. They continued to kiss for a few minutes and Tony immediately knew that it was the best kiss of his life. He had shared many kisses with people, but none of them were paired with the warm emotions that Tony was feeling from both himself and Loki. Eventually, they pulled away from each other and Tony was upset that it had to end. 

“Wow,” Tony whispered. He couldn’t get rid of the huge grin that he had on his face, but then he realized that he didn’t have to. 

“I have wanted to do that for a while now,” Loki told him. 

“Me too,” Tony admitted. He could feel his cheeks turn red from blush but he didn’t care. 

Tony couldn’t help himself from standing up and pulling Loki in for a hug. Tony always enjoyed hugs, and hugging Loki felt amazing. Because Loki was taller than him, Tony was able to rest his head between Loki’s neck and his shoulder. After a few seconds, Loki placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head. 

For his whole life, Tony didn’t understand why he had his particular mutation. He never knew why he was destined to feel the emotions of everyone around him. But as he was held in Loki’s arms, he felt himself sinking into the fondness and appreciation Loki was feeling towards him. He decided that maybe this was the reason why. So he could feel this from Loki. Tony wanted to feel it forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you liked it! Comments/kudos are very appreciated! This idea was nagging me for a while and I'm glad that I finally decided to write it.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr :) [lovewhatyoudooo](https://lovewhatyoudooo.tumblr.com)


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